because it gave me this, which made me laugh really hard.
see more pwn and owned pictures
Enjoy your loved ones, eat t/ofu/urkey and be grateful: things could always be worse! Like you could be eating some really crappy pizza.
Archive for November, 2008
Today, I’m grateful for the Internet…
Posted by tiltiblog on November 27, 2008
Posted in Food, Holidays, Overall Awesome | Tagged: fail, gratitude, pizza, thanksgiving | Leave a Comment »
Master the Internet!
Posted by tiltiblog on November 25, 2008
and chat about chatting…or football…with men!
Posted in buy online, humor, internet, tv | Tagged: faux 1997, internet, mastery, sexless dorks | Leave a Comment »
for my spam subject line of the day:
Posted by tiltiblog on November 25, 2008
‘earn a income on the internet’
Everyone can use some addtional income in these hardtiimes, Earn up to $255/day processing rebates from home
Its Fun, Easy and Best of all Can be done from the comfort of your home.
If only I was Work At Home Mom, like they seem to think.
hardtiimes!!
Posted in internet | Leave a Comment »
for all the tiddy I can handle!
Posted by tiltiblog on November 21, 2008
Man, this has been a good day for weird crap on the Internet.
In order:
1. I LOVE infomercials! Primarily due to the format rule that before they introduce their product they must identify the made-up (9 times out of 10) ‘problem’ their product will then solve for you. This identification is usually done via a hilariously earnest voice-over. “Does the shoulder strap of your car cut into your shoulder? Is your shoulder strap too tight..and annoying?” This is the moment when I would love to share the (fake) commercial for (character) Tracy Jordan’s Meat Machine (30 Rock, S1E10) as the stellar example of this. But apparently, NBC sucked it right off the Internet. CURSES. Do they not know such clips promote the show and increase DVD sales? Savages. So let’s think on this: when did we change the name of seat belts to ‘shoulder straps‘? Or are they discouraging the lap strap application of Tiddy? Which brings me to…
2. I love the idea of subliminal advertising that is actually super obvious! For example, the commercial tells us the product has these attributes:
-attaches to a belt (though it snaps on instead of strapping on)
-’moves up and down to relieve the pressure wherever you need it’
-’swivels’ and ‘fits any make and model (prolonged shot of happy customer’s boob area)’
-how do you use it? just ‘slide it where it relieves the pressure’
-’snuggles comfortably to your needs’ (huh?)
-has… ahem…beads that…move
-is ‘easy to slide away when not in use’
-is fucking called TIDDY, cause you put the bear you know where
I’m tempted to call the 1 800 number and say, in the tones of a certain Arrested Development character: MARRY ME!
3. Ah, the fair remembrances of youth. My Mom and I were both terrified of Snuggles and now I may have to restrain myself from getting her a Tiddy for Xmas.
4. In terms of product endorsement, this youtuber has it all sewn up:
‘This is awesome! My seat belt bothered me, and at first I used a small towel I had laying around, but then I decided to order the Tiddy Bear for $20, and boy, what a difference! Driving around with this gay-looking yellow stuffed animal stuck to my chest is so much better!’
-thanks to Megatron for brightening my already fabulous day with this wonderful tidbit. Yeah, I said it.
Posted in buy online, Entertainment, humor, internet, Overall Awesome, Sex!, toys, tv | Tagged: advertising awesome, deviant, informerical, nbc sucks, sexy, subversive, teddy, tiddy, tittie | 1 Comment »
for never, ever, EVER letting me forget: People Are Freaks
Posted by tiltiblog on November 21, 2008
Do you watch Heroes, dear reader?
It is a very popular television program on the NBC. It is a program about people, regular people like you and me. Except for, mostly they are more attractive and also they have super powers. Hijinks ensue.
Is this show’s popularity tapping into a Jungian collective desire to transcend our human limitations and self-actualize? Or is it merely escapist entertainment?
I only ask the questions around here. But I will say you don’t have to Make Yours Marvel to know that in RL there are not super hot Indian guys trying to stop a power-absorbing creepy-eyebrows dude from messing with an indestructible cheerleader.* Yes, genes mutate. There are mutants but not that does not mean tights-wearing Mutants are real.
Right?
*not actual NBC storyline
**thx to Dr. Jones for the link!
Posted in buy online, Entertainment, G-d, Health, Overall Awesome, Satan, Science, tv | Tagged: allah, freaks, heroes, hijinks, mutants, self-actualize, super-strength, weird | 4 Comments »
for never EVER letting me forget that people are freaks
Posted by tiltiblog on November 21, 2008
or at least, are scandalous!
In my innocent attempt to link Emma Brocke’s name to her bio (and let’s be serious, that means her wikipedia page unless it looks to be super obviously un-fact-checked) I managed to learn that she was at the heart of a journalistic scandal regarding her accuracy in reporting an interview…with Noam Chomsky.
Now, I’m no Media Studies major, but it seems like a bad idea to throw down with Noam.
The best part: at the center of this maelstrom was the question of whether or not he used sarcastic quote marks to describe a massacre. Or, in this case, a ‘massacre’ <rolls eyes>. LOL! OMG, seriously?!? Lest you think I jest, allow me to CTRL+V:
‘The final text and page layout suggested that Chomsky had downplayed the 1995 massacre in Srebrenica, in part by using the word massacre in ironic quotes. Chomsky immediately asked for a citation of anything in print where he had used the word massacre in ironic quotes with reference to the Srebrenica massacre, and none was provided. .[2]‘
I learned from Colbert that if you’re on Cable News (which I’m not, but still) you don’t have to report the news. You simply have to ask questions about events. And you can frame them however you like.
So I ask you: is this whole scandal an example of what the so-called ‘Gen X’ has done to journalism?!?
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: brocke, chomsky, guardian, journalistic integrity, Media, scandal | Leave a Comment »
for never letting me forget that people are freaks.
Posted by tiltiblog on November 20, 2008
Just always.
But today, I was looking up info on Alistair Cooke (who would have been 100 tomorrow) when I found this article. Sure, it’s well-written and informative and retrospective. Did I say informative? I meant that it INFORMED ME that Sir Alistair’s BODY PARTS had been sold off by the funeral home that processed his remains. What. The.
How much news do I have to read to ensure that I don’t miss things like this?
Interesting insight from Cooke’s daughter Susan on this horrific situation:
‘Did Mastromarino apologise? “Yeah.” She shrugs. The fact that he got away with it for so long is a consequence, she says, of a squeamishness about death, which hands over extraordinary power to funeral directors. “We are really happy that they come and take [the problem] away.” There would have to be a “big cultural shift” for that to change, but for now she is tired of the subject.’
This article, by Emma Brockes, also enlightened me to the fact that evidently Sir Alistair was a hypochondriac, afraid of flying and more reasonably, wasn’t too fond of knives.
Thanks to the lofty tastes of my parental nerd-units, I watched a LOT of Masterpiece Theater as a child. I’m grateful that Sir Al’s consistently refined presence informed my cultural understanding during formative years. Now, to top it off, he is making me feel better about my claustrophobia from beyond the grave.
Bless you, Sir Al! I’ll be buying your books in the years to come.
Posted in Health, tv | Tagged: 100, alistair cooke, centenarians, emma blockes, fear, freaks, harvesting organs, phobias, susan cooke kittredge, weird | Leave a Comment »
for the thrilling and eerie beauty of street magic
Posted by tiltiblog on November 10, 2008
As has been alluded to previously, Dr. 007 and I recently engaged in some deep technology worship (including forced use of JesusPhone on my part. I must repent!). During this bacchanal, MyHero hosted us for Sunday dinner/ geekery (featuring the apple TV). Fellow guest MachoMan turned us on to this amazing street magic below and I know it’s ALL REAL.
Part 1: What the EFF?
Part 2: Cheez-its! Cheez-its! Cheez-its! Cheez-its!
Part 3: Barbie-sized!
I really want to be fake David Blaine now. Sadly, so do these clowns. I love the Internet in part because of comments like these: ‘Tip: Edit your teleportation better.’ That said, I am loathe to mock these kids too much since they used Led Zeppelin during their credits. Hope they don’t get sued.
Oh and if any of you were wondering: I’m 5′/ Ace of Clubs. At least according to my license.
Posted in Entertainment, Overall Awesome | Tagged: david blaine, demon, parody, what the eff | Leave a Comment »
for Tiki Tiki Tiki!
Posted by tiltiblog on November 10, 2008
I’m going to take a time-out from my cognitive dissonance surrounding our recent election (Our global husband**, my Barack President!! My fellow Californians voting to ban gay marriage?!?) to talk about a delicious discovery: Tiki Bar TV.
It all started when my faithful servant Dr. 007 (a.k.a. Agent W) recently journeyed from our nation’s capital to my coastal location for a conference. Minus one trip north so that the good doctor could meet a redwood tree or two, we spent the bulk of his visit worshiping the Internet. In all its glory. Even at a friend’s after dinner. Even remotely…it was rather…sick.
That being said, we traded favorites and it was great fun! I now have been blessed with the glory that is the video podcast Tiki Bar TV, starring bartender Johnny Johnny, the lovely Lala and of course, Dr. Tiki himself. This show is great in so many ways, but until I go make myself a cocktail, I feel unqualified to sing its praises. Go look at their website!
Ahhhh….that’s better!
These folks are so great they inspired us to follow one of their recipes at 2:30 am (warning: watching this WILL make you festive! Don’t press play before driving or operating heavy machinery). PLUS they are Canadian. I mean, really! You can’t go wrong here.
[I do think that one of Dr. 007's rheumatology patients turned him on to this show. Which is funny. And I also realize I am very, very late to this party. But I am usually late to parties and as long as the party is still rockin' no one seems to mind.]
In this episode, you not only get the requisite booze, dancing and entertaining guest stars, you also get <crickets> and the best of all: a robot…made with automatic science.
**Tilti heard this on the radio today. I mean, my housemate said the same thing after hearing his Tue. speech and here I quote her: ‘He just proposed marriage to the whole world!!’. But I also heard a journalist on NPR today quoting his Russian-born wife as saying the world was looking to Barack to be its ‘husband.’ Must find the audio for this!
Posted in cocktails, Entertainment, humor, Overall Awesome, podcasts, Science, tv | Tagged: booze, cocktail, internet, podcast, tiki | Leave a Comment »
Still celebratory
Posted by tiltiblog on November 10, 2008
Put me in, coach
Rising Son
Our Guy
Yikes!
Done and Doner
Posted in Activism, Art, Overall Awesome, photography, Politics | Tagged: Art, barack obama, election, obama, poster, president, vote | Leave a Comment »
