Ah, summer days...
Archive for July, 2009
Summer Fail
Posted by tiltiblog on July 30, 2009
Posted in internet | Tagged: fail, peep toe | Leave a Comment »
Draco’s Secret Revealed
Posted by tiltiblog on July 19, 2009
I caught the new HP movie this week – #6 as I prefer to call it – and something haunted me throughout. As soon as I got home from the theater it came to me:
Draco Malfoy is a Manning.
Yes, that kind, the annoying kind, the kind with endless endorsements, the kind that regularly wins rings (er, or at least once). The EVIL kind.*
Now everything makes sense! No wonder the poor kid is on a dark path. And no wonder he’s a bigot! Muggle-born himself, he was clearly abandoned to the care of an ancient and twisted wizarding family with matching hair. The Malfoys don’t want to reveal that they would take on a magical Muggle child to save their line from dying out, so they’re super duper extra evil about everything Muggle. Yet extra protective of Draco, their last hope for greatness. Ah irony, Draco’s hatred of Harry belies their symmetry as characters!
(Now why Archie would give Draco up, I don’t know–I suspect Manning Sr. always wanted to be a seeker himself, and thought to live through his youngest. From afar.)
Lest you think this post is about to delve into disturbing fanfic, let’s look at the evidence The Internet has graciously provided:
Gameface: Manning Sneer
Suited up: All Business
On the sidelines: Pretty pleasant, actually
Off-duty: Downright charming! Some blotting on those foreheads couldn't hurt though.
I now feel that I should go back to the beginning and rewatch all the movies. How did I not see this sooner? Or did Draco really grow into his Manningness? Either way, I am totally creeped out now. Especially since I just spent more time than I ever thought I would googling for Manning photos. Ewwww. Must clear browser history stat!
Let’s close with this shot, because I swear it could be a Sports Illustrated – Quidditch Season Preview cover:
Will the sorting hat send you to Indy? Or New York?
*for you Peyton fans out there, I defy you to reject the evil of your QB1. You know it’s true. Just like I know mine is pretty.
Edit. Note: I forgot to mention that Draco is not the only Manning with magical powers. Clearly.
Posted in Entertainment, magic, NFL | Tagged: celebrity look-a-likes, draco malfoy, harry potter, peyton manning | Leave a Comment »
Sorry, Charlie
Posted by tiltiblog on July 16, 2009
[1:42:45 PM] Lil’ G: i hope that was for me
[1:43:00 PM] Tilti: the lol?
[1:43:03 PM] Tilti: no sorry
[1:43:04 PM] Tilti: peter
[1:43:06 PM] Lil’ G: goddammit
[1:44:26 PM] Tilti: sorry charlie
[1:44:39 PM] Tilti: and sorry that I just a made a reference to a commercial from before you were born
[1:46:19 PM] Lil’ G: i say sorry charlie all the time
[1:46:23 PM] Lil’ G: but have no idea where it’s from
[1:46:30 PM] Lil’ G: i only say it b/c it (sorta) rhymes
[1:46:34 PM] Lil’ G: and i’ve heard it before..
[1:46:46 PM] Tilti: (sorta)
[1:46:52 PM] Tilti: it was from a tuna fish commercial
[1:47:02 PM] Lil’ G: lol
[1:47:04 PM] Tilti: charlie was an animated….something? fish? with glasses?
[1:47:10 PM] Tilti: pls hold, googling
[1:47:44 PM] Tilti: sometimes, youtube is the single greatest thing ever invented:
[1:48:11 PM] Tilti: holy shit, I forgot about his accent! it’s hilarious!
[1:49:19 PM] Lil’ G: ohh
[1:49:24 PM] Lil’ G: i’m too lazy to put my headphones in
[1:49:28 PM] Tilti: “stah kists don’t want tunas wit’ good taste!!” The message of this commercial seems to be that Chahlie tastes like shit.
Posted in internet | Tagged: sorry charlie, tuna fish, you tube | Leave a Comment »
Too Much Content
Posted by tiltiblog on July 16, 2009
If there’s anything I love but secretly, sometimes hate about The Internet it’s its vastness. Today, the Internet crammed my inbox with so many lovable things that I’m going to have to dribble them out at you people.
Whoa, that whole sentence is just regrettable-looking.
Let’s start with forbidden love, shall we?
Drunk and Disorderly
I just can’t imagine. Which of our fine 50 states is sufficiently solvent such that this type of … active duty…is worth the expenditure of civic funds?
Speaking from a state that’s looking to legalize weed just to make ends meet, I have to say I Want To Go To There.
Posted in internet | Tagged: picture is unrelated | Leave a Comment »
More Han Birthday Love
Posted by tiltiblog on July 14, 2009
I love Han, I vote Han over Indy every time (sorry archeology!) but I love the Internet allllmost as much. Because, look:
+ Free Jedi Knight Certificate!!
I am speechless.
Calista, if you’re out there reading, and (let’s be serious) we both know that you are, I really hope you’re ok with me sending these to your man. And by the way, I bet he’d take this too, I would. I would take this AND the soundtrack.
Posted in internet | Tagged: han solo, hoth, star wars, underoos | Leave a Comment »
Who’s Scruffy Looking??
Posted by tiltiblog on July 14, 2009
Happy Birthday, Han Solo! Er, sorry, Happy Birthday Harrison Ford!
Un petit homage follows. Because:
We love you!!
Hubba hubba
And you:
Making vests look cool since 1977
And you:
It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.
And last but not least, every college girl’s favorite:
No time for love. Alas!
Posted in Entertainment, Overall Awesome, Science | Tagged: happy birthday harrison | 2 Comments »
Literal Face Plant
Posted by tiltiblog on July 13, 2009
I’m really not trying to be catty re: the young lady pictured below…especially as it appears there will be plenty of takers for that assignment.
I’m just here to go on record as saying I WISH there was a picture like this of me. I’ve never done this (I think?)…but I so, so wish all the same.
Click on through for the Oh No They Didn’t comic stylings.
Posted in internet | Tagged: literal face plant | Leave a Comment »
Teaching to Test
Posted by tiltiblog on July 13, 2009
All test results are not created equal, clearly, because this one wins.
This fell into my tweet a while back, but I recently stumbled across this updated post in which the author gets connected to and claims his work. Priceless (click the image).
I owe this kid big–due to this exam (actually graded!), I no longer curse the gods for the time I spent watching “300.” Without the low lows of that painful experience I would not have reached the apex of joy induced by this masterpiece.
A+!
Posted in internet | Tagged: confusing, exams, funny, sparta | Leave a Comment »
Buy It For Me!
Posted by tiltiblog on July 9, 2009
Back my popular demand ! Your favorite segment, and mine. Remember, this Year of the Tiger writer has a birthday coming up.
Just sayin’.
Posted in internet | Tagged: munchler, tiger, tiger team totes, totes | Leave a Comment »
